An Affirmation on the Way

There is such an incredibly rich tension in the paradox of faith.

It's visceral.

There is no salvation apart from Christ

and yet to have faith in Christ means living that out in works.

On one hand 'cheap grace' is not the grace of Christ,

but on the other, works without faith is dead.

That knife's edge that avoids both and yet holds both in tension...that's the rub.

One thing that I do know, I am a sinner apart from Jesus (present tense!), and it is His work that saves me.

I cannot be saved through faith in myself.

Having faith in Him means thinking about Him, talking with Him, reading His word, doing His work - Loving Him in the fullest sense of the word.

In Him is found true joy, true peace, true rest.

To Him belong my best and highest.

He is the end of all my striving.

"For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome." (1 Jn 5:3)

Because of these facts, I humbly, but firmly affirm: "there remains a Sabbath rest for the people of God, for whoever has entered God's rest has also rested from his works as God did from his." (Hebrews 4:9-10).

If You've Never...

If you've never sat down for pizza with a Malaysian drug dealer...it's quite an experience. haha

A Confession

Self Reflection is often a good thing.

In looking over my past blog posts, I see now how I was able to worry much less back then.

Partly it was because I didn't have as much to worry about.

But mostly it was because I spent an hour daily in communion with God.

I confess, I've slowly and imperceptibly but surely shifted my focus so that even though I'm at Biola, all this time I've been thinking, "It's by my power that I'm here", "this is my education", "this is my time to shine", etc, etc.

I haven't been talking with God as much or spending enough time in His Word as I ought to.

Besides being just downright silly, I've noticed that my personality, my way of being in the world reverts back to what I would be without Christ (It only makes sense that if you don't stay connected to the vine, you start withering!) - a craven, sick, wobbly, anxious, needy, insecure twit.

"Overcome us, Lord, that so overcome, we might be ourselves"

I don't know if it's Athanasius, or Williams, or Lewis, or the Bible, but one or several or all of them have this idea that since God is Being (unqualified), as we are restored by Christ to right relation towards God (i.e. Loving rightly) we are also being restored to our true selves, our true being. In other words, as we journey closer to the Heart of reality, we consequently become more Real, more truly ourselves than we ever could have been if we had tried to stray (See Augustine's conception of Good and Evil).

Evil is literally negative - that is, it negates what is truly real.

But then again, what do we mean by real?

All this is to say,

He truly is the Person in whom we "live, move, and have our being".

Lord God have mercy on me, a sinner.

All that I am and ever will be, I owe to God.

I'm going to start living out that fact again.

Under His Mercy,

Gabriel

A Few Weeks In

So, a general what-I-have-learned-in-the-first-few-weeks-of-College:

1) I am a very very selfish and prideful person.

2) Sleep is ooooh so good.

3) College isn't as easy as I thought it'd be.

4) Gabriel + Romantic Fuzzy movies (Whisper of the Heart, Emma) = Varied and Interesting Reactions...

5) Friendship is like the lowest note of a Steinway Grand, it's like a bedrock for your soul that sounds the depths of your being. You can't help but want to be a better person and wishing in some way to be worthy of that friendship. (And you also can't help but cringe at a lousy simile.) ;) It's as if God shows Himself to us through the kindness of our friends and for a moment, we glimpse Heaven.

6) I'm rather horrible with remembering people's names...

7) Chemistry and Calculus don't like me...at all. sigh. >__<

8) Family is a gift that should never be taken for granted.

9) I don't want to be a monk... =P

10) I have a long, long, long way to go in becoming a good man.

Yeah...Right...

This happened last night:

Christian Cummins comes to the door at like 12:30 at night.

I look at him with a are-you-sure-you-want-to-be-here-cause-I've-got-chemistry-and-calculus-homework-due-tomorrow look.

He assures me, "I'm just coming here to read, Choo - I promise."

hah. hah. hah.

We end up talking till 4:00 with me waking him up at like 4:30 to finish an argument.

College is gonna be gooooood. =P

Heart Song

If my life were a piece of music

I'd want it to sound like Rachmaninoff.

In other words, I'm back from Russia and I love being home.

=]

If today were my birthday...(Revised)

I would not celebrate my birth, but the birth of the world. Because it is on this day, today, that the world was born for me.

Perhaps I should clarify.

I think it's definitely with Chesterton's help that I started on this line of thought.

You see, instead of simply celebrating my own birth, (or any of ours) isn't it more wonderful to celebrate how for me, on that day, everything came into existence?

The fact is that I was born into a world and I was given the privilege of life!

Stars existed before I was born, but how would I know of them if not for my birth?

Perhaps it is a far-fetched and forced perspective, but it makes it more wonderful for me to think of God preparing the world for us, rather than we being prepared for the world.

In fact, I think that is what Traherne means! OOOOOOHhhhhh! Mid Blogpost Epiphany!

Here's a quote:

When things are are ours in their proper places, nothing is needful but prizing to enjoy them. God therefore hath made it infinitely easy to enjoy, by making everything ours, and us able so easily to prize them. Everything is ours that serves us in its place. The Sun serves us as much as is possible, and more than we could imagine. The Clouds and Stars minister unto us, the World surrounds us with beauty, the Air refresheth us, the Sea revives the earth and us. The Earth itself is better than gold because it produceth fruits and flowers. And therefore in the beginning, was it made manifest to be mine, because Adam alone was made to enjoy it. By making one, and not a multitude, God evidently shewed one alone to be the end of the World and every one its enjoyer. For every one may enjoy it as much as He....in the midst of such rich demonstratons, you may infinitely delight in God as your Father, Friend and Benefactor, in yourself as His Heir, Child and Bride, in the whole World, as the Gift and Token of His love; neither can anything but Ignorance destroy your joys. For if you know yourself, or God, or the World, you must of necessity enjoy it (Thomas Traherne 10-11).

Did you catch the Calvin and Dante references in the last line?

Remember how Calvin speaks about all of knowledge being contained under two categories, the knowledge of man and the knowledge of God?

And how Beatrice in Canto 26 I think of Paradise talks about Vision of the Good necessarily leading to Love of the Good?

The only question I'd have for Traherne would be to ask, wasn't it "not good" for man to be alone? That's why Eve was made right?

Does that clarify why I would celebrate the birth of the world for me rather than my birth to the world?

So if today were my birthday, I would not celebrate my birth into the world, rather, I would celebrate the birth of the world, on that day, for me. And I think that's the greatest birthday present I've ever received. ;)

Summer Slothfulness

I think it just kicked in today. =P

I've managed to read my heart out about the Star Wars expanded universe on Wookiepedia...

Did the laundry...

I've watched all of...what did I watch again?.....Oh yes!...Pink Panther 2. Silly movie. Don't watch it unless you are willing to laugh away an hour and a half of your life.

I've also written a whole bunch of thank you emails. Unfortunately, they get repetitive after awhile.

I need to get off this couch. I need to go exercise. I need to go do something worthwhile. I need to remember that each moment counts...

I need to remember that I am living for something.

"You were bought with a price"

Not to say that enjoying oneself is bad...but it's not the Best either.

Note to self: Get off the couch you lazy bum! Stop feeling sorry for yourself and go do something! Go watch the Ants the wiseman says.

I think he may be right. =]

Let us dear friends, live this summer well.

I Took a Personality Test on Face Book...

Tell me, how accurately does this describe me?

As an INTP, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you deal with things rationally and logically. Your secondary mode is external, where you take things in primarily via your intuition.
INTPs live in the world of theoretical possibilities. They see everything in terms of how it could be improved, or what it could be turned into. They live primarily inside their own minds, having the ability to analyze difficult problems, identify patterns, and come up with logical explanations. They seek clarity in everything, and are therefore driven to build knowledge. They are the "absent-minded professors", who highly value intelligence and the ability to apply logic to theories to find solutions. They typically are so strongly driven to turn problems into logical explanations, that they live much of their lives within their own heads, and may not place as much importance or value on the external world. Their natural drive to turn theories into concrete understanding may turn into a feeling of personal responsibility to solve theoretical problems, and help society move towards a higher understanding.
INTPs value knowledge above all else. Their minds are constantly working to generate new theories, or to prove or disprove existing theories. They approach problems and theories with enthusiasm and skepticism, ignoring existing rules and opinions and defining their own approach to the resolution. They seek patterns and logical explanations for anything that interests them. They're usually extremely bright, and able to be objectively critical in their analysis. They love new ideas, and become very excited over abstractions and theories. They love to discuss these concepts with others. They may seem "dreamy" and distant to others, because they spend a lot of time inside their minds musing over theories. They hate to work on routine things - they would much prefer to build complex theoretical solutions, and leave the implementation of the system to others. They are intensely interested in theory, and will put forth tremendous amounts of time and energy into finding a solution to a problem with has piqued their interest.
INTPs do not like to lead or control people. They're very tolerant and flexible in most situations, unless one of their firmly held beliefs has been violated or challenged, in which case they may take a very rigid stance. The INTP is likely to be very shy when it comes to meeting new people. On the other hand, the INTP is very self-confident and gregarious around people they know well, or when discussing theories which they fully understand.
The INTP has no understanding or value for decisions made on the basis of personal subjectivity or feelings. They strive constantly to achieve logical conclusions to problems, and don't understand the importance or relevance of applying subjective emotional considerations to decisions. For this reason, INTPs are usually not in-tune with how people are feeling, and are not naturally well-equiped to meet the emotional needs of others.
The INTP may have a problem with self-aggrandizement and social rebellion, which will interfere with their creative potential. Since their Feeling side is their least developed trait, the INTP may have difficulty giving the warmth and support that is sometimes necessary in intimate relationships. If the INTP doesn't realize the value of attending to other people's feelings, he or she may become overly critical and sarcastic with others. If the INTP is not able to find a place for themself which supports the use of their strongest abilities, they may become generally negative and cynical. If the INTP has not developed their Sensing side sufficiently, they may become unaware of their environment, and exhibit weakness in performing maintenance-type tasks, such as bill-paying and dressing appropriately.
For the INTP, it is extremely important that ideas and facts are expressed correctly and succinctly. They are likely to express themselves in what they believe to be absolute truths. Sometimes, their well thought-out understanding of an idea is not easily understandable by others, but the INTP is not naturally likely to tailor the truth so as to explain it in an understandable way to others. The INTP may be prone to abandoning a project once they have figured it out, moving on to the next thing. It's important that the INTP place importance on expressing their developed theories in understandable ways. In the end, an amazing discovery means nothing if you are the only person who understands it.
The INTP is usually very independent, unconventional, and original. They are not likely to place much value on traditional goals such as popularity and security. They usually have complex characters, and may tend to be restless and temperamental. They are strongly ingenious, and have unconventional thought patterns which allows them to analyze ideas in new ways. Consequently, a lot of scientific breakthroughs in the world have been made by the INTP.
The INTP is at his best when he can work on his theories independently. When given an environment which supports his creative genius and possible eccentricity, the INTP can accomplish truly remarkable things. These are the pioneers of new thoughts in our society.

I usually don't recommend face book quizzes, but this one was unusually and uncannily correct at many, many points.

Go take it! Look up my facebook page and scroll down on the left side bar! =]

An Announcement

Guess who got a license to drive?

oh yeah. =]

Guess who splurged on their gift card and bought $15 worth of Godiva Chocolate?

Oh Yeah.

Guess who loves Torrey?

OH YEAH! =D

A Sad Story

=[

The other day, I had finished watching a lot of tv and movies...

then I went outside.

And the first words that popped out of my mouth?

WHOA!!! The grass is in HD!!!

>_<

Let us hope this event does not occur again....ever. ;P

"To Boldly Go Where..."

Today was (I think) the official beginning of farewell to senior year.

So many memories.

So many happy memories.

So many beautiful memories.

Lest you think I shall be stuck in the past, I assure you, I look to the future with a stout heart and good cheer.

But I guess I just wanted to remark that if this was it -if tonight I (by God's grace) were called to enter Christ's courts, I would not think this life ill spent -because I have known you my friends.

If today my life were demanded of me, I would have no regrets.

It has been one of my greatest joys and privileges to come to know you all over the years (how few and short they seem!).

Many were the times when I'd look around at everyone and think to myself, "This truly is, a wonderful life".

And so it is, it truly, truly is a wonderful life.

How many can say that?

"We few, we happy few..."

In Which I Join the Bandwagon

Who knew imovie could be so easy to use!

Here is my humble offering.

I hope I get to make more of these in the future!

=D

If you're having trouble viewing the video, it's on private (my classmate's a bit picky about being on the internet) so email me if you want to watch it. =\

Singleness isn't a Bad thing...

I'm still pretty young as human beings go.

But I'm already beginning to feel the pressure to get on the path to getting married.

Now dating isn't a bad thing! (Friends who know me can attest to the fact that I'm a hopeless romantic!)

But perhaps there's a problem when even my dad sits me down for this kind of a lecture.

"Son, I'm a bit worried about you, when I was your age, your mom was already hopelessly in love with me."

=P

It's such a relief I guess to realize that I don't have to be married to another person in order to become a whole person.

Not that I wouldn't want to get married at some point in the future ;)

Realization was prompted by this podcast.

Some Questions

I recently watched about 75% of a movie called "Departed". It was this years academy award winner for "Best Foreign Film". It's about a cello player whose orchestra is disbanded and who ends up with a job as a "encoffiner", someone who performs the Japanese death ceremony. So two questions came to mind:

What does it mean to die well?

What is a beautiful death?

What should a persons legacy be?

From what I've seen of the movie, I recommend it. However there is one sensually explicit minute long scene which younger viewers will want to be wary of. Other than that, it is a rhapsodic meditation on death, life, and love.

Can't wait to finish it. =]

Silence in the Sun

ooooh. Artsy title. ;)

This afternoon I decided to sit down on a small plot of grass. The morning had been cold and so it was good to feel the sun on my body. Lying down felt even better because it reduced my exposure to the wind and maximized the amount of sunlight I could absorb.

I've forgotten how wonderfully relaxing that is. Just sitting and being silent and listening to people talking (with no obligation to answer since they think you're sleeping). Apparently, I cut quite a haiku-y figure. =P

Opening my eyes again, everything was sort of white washed. My eyes were adjusting so the world took on a blaring blue-rinse like color tone. It felt like I was in a movie...

Spring Break has started. It's good to relax. It's good to love and be loved. It's good to live. It's good to Affirm things.

God Bless you all, my friends. Let us pray for one another, always.

I don't know whether to laugh...

or cry.

What does it say about us when we can only be fascinated by hell?

This is Amusing...

Stereotypes...

Also, here's another chooism:

Dad: Son, you can be anything you want to be.

Me: Really?!

Dad: Sure! You can go into cardiology, ophthalmology, oncology, urology, you could be a pulmonologist…

>_< =P

When all the other children were learning where their eyes and noses were, I was learning where my carotid artery was. ;)

Another Choo-ism

In honor of the Bard:

"Be Choo,

be Choo,

be Choo!

To thine own self be Choo!"

;)

Inheritance Cycle...

After devoting most of my weekend to reading through Brsingr, I think I will recommend it. Paolini's writing is much better. The action is quite well done, it's fun, it's entertaining. I was engrossed. The plot's pretty predictable but still works well. (Blah, incoherence). It's not high literature, but we don't want to be snobs now do we? ;) To be honest, it's been a long time since I've really enjoyed myself as I read through a book. Don't get me wrong, Great Books are by no means without their entertainment value. But the fantasy of this particular book requires very little active thinking and so is consequently much easier to get addicted to.

Yes, it's quite true, I was addicted. ;) Perhaps though, it's not something to joke about...It's a story and I love a good story.

Perhaps it would be best to tell you what effect my reading of it has on my sister. As I write, she is lugging the book (all 700 something pages of it) to her own room. Sigh, I'm guessing I can forget about communicating for at least 2 weeks. ;)

Here's what she said when she walked into the room this evening while I was near the end.

"DANG! Gabriel, you ate the book!"

I got a good chuckle out of that. =]

Escapism...is it good? Probably not, and with all these Dante sources to read through I'm an idiot for devoting so much time to it, but as I said, I can't resist a good story.

Sigh. We'll have to work on that.

In other news, I shall not be getting a facebook.