Humility

This week, I've had to learn a hard lesson. That is, how to be humble. My teacher whom I respect and admire very much for showing me my weakness and sin pointed out in his evaluation of my Term Paper that I was acting as if I were an exception towards the general rules, not only was the quality of my paper unacceptably low, but so was my attitude. "Pride cometh before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall". Sigh. At first, I was able to see it from a third persons point of view, I knew that this would not only be a growing experience (being reprimanded) but that it would also be painful. I was overjoyed at being corrected, for I had noticed my own academic slipshodedness for quite some time already. But as the hours passed and my teacher's words took on more personal weight, the burden and shame did begin to seep into my heart. Throughout the (continuing) ordeal I've been very grateful to Mr. Buhler for pointing out my arrogance and snobbishness. This lesson is hard, but at least my lesson in humility has begun. But I recognize this: if I had maintained a loving, trusting and dependent relationship with God, this would not have happened. And until I learn to be humble as Christ was humble and depend upon my Heavenly Father as Jesus depended upon the Father then my Pride will continue to rear its ugly head.

So what I've learned so far:
1) I have been ignoring my classmates. Torrey is about learning from a community, for many months now, I have (consciously or not) been almost ignoring the comments of my friends during class, I've isolated myself in the dungeon of my own mind, which (to a certain degree) is a type of insanity.

2) I cannot conquer my pride alone, only God can. Although I am still unsure of how to destroy my pride, by God's grace I am determined to depend upon Him daily for guidance and for mercy.

3) This has certainly been an experience with God. Now that I think about it, this event was a direct answer to my prayer! I had asked God to "destroy my pride, for it is an abhorrent thing to You", God never really works the way we think He will, and that's a good thing.

I've seen now how disgusting my pride has been and I can do nothing but beg for forgivness and grace from my classmates, my family, my friends, my teacher, but most of all, from God. This is a small step, but a step nonetheless. I am still a boy and quite a stupid one, but I thank God for showing this to me. I hope I don't remain one. =]