A Few Weeks In

So, a general what-I-have-learned-in-the-first-few-weeks-of-College:

1) I am a very very selfish and prideful person.

2) Sleep is ooooh so good.

3) College isn't as easy as I thought it'd be.

4) Gabriel + Romantic Fuzzy movies (Whisper of the Heart, Emma) = Varied and Interesting Reactions...

5) Friendship is like the lowest note of a Steinway Grand, it's like a bedrock for your soul that sounds the depths of your being. You can't help but want to be a better person and wishing in some way to be worthy of that friendship. (And you also can't help but cringe at a lousy simile.) ;) It's as if God shows Himself to us through the kindness of our friends and for a moment, we glimpse Heaven.

6) I'm rather horrible with remembering people's names...

7) Chemistry and Calculus don't like me...at all. sigh. >__<

8) Family is a gift that should never be taken for granted.

9) I don't want to be a monk... =P

10) I have a long, long, long way to go in becoming a good man.

Heart Song

If my life were a piece of music

I'd want it to sound like Rachmaninoff.

In other words, I'm back from Russia and I love being home.

=]

Happiness is...

Waking up in a soft, warm bed and knowing you can sleep in today.

Laughing and talking with friends you love.

Eating a Godiva Chocolate Champagne ball.

Seeing the Cathedral of Christ our Savior - the sun shining through the windows and lighting up the cross at the top of the altar - the cross comes alive with molten and living energy - Moving in Love. The Great Dance.

Hearing the Cathedral choir sing the liturgy.

Seeing the Rembrandt pieces at the Pushkin Museum.

Seeing St. Bartholomew in the Getty.

Seeing the Faberge display window at the State Armory in the Kremlin.

Strolling through Vancouver, B.C.

Meditating by Lake Moraine.

Watching little children smile while they sleep.

Studying in the Biola Library.

Helping my sister answer a question.

Saying exactly what you wanted to say to the people whom you wanted to say it to and in exactly the right way.

Holding a newborn.

Staying at a certain Kedron Valley Inn in Virginia in the Fall.

Reading Dante.

A warm furry dog who loves you.

Listening to Miss Romero read Eliot.

Listening to Mr. Bartel talk about Mrs. Bartel. (And most any other subject)

Listening to/playing Bach.

Listening to/playing Rachmaninoff.

Sharing Rachmaninoff with one's friend and knowing that they know what it is to be "the music while the music lasts".

Listening to/reading Dr. Esolen talk about Dante.

Listening to Dr. Reynolds talk about the West.

Listening to a Friend's insight on the text at hand.

Reading C.S. Lewis.

Reading Charles Williams and Sayers talking about Dante.

Being a part of Torrey.

Seeing the Cathedral of the Spilled Blood for the first time.

Talking about the Love of God.

Getting a delightful and long Email.

Going to Boston in the Fall.

Drinking a really yummy and warm Latte.

Sitting by a waterfall.

Knowing that because of your hard work, you've pleased those you care about and have made them proud of what you've done.

Hiking with my family in Yosemite.

Knowing that death - what was once our greatest sorrow - is now the occasion of our greatest triumph through Christ. "He trampled death by death!"

Drinking a glass of Montrachet.

Sleeping under the Stars.

Going to Wheatstone.

Opening the mailbox and finding a package from Amazon.

Being able to Drive.

Coming to class excited.

Watching two people fall in love.

Catching a strain of the "Humoresque" and grinning to friends who know what it means.

Reading a really good poem.

Christmas.

Being able to relive the wonderful memories you've had, like carrying around your personal box of wonders.

Waking up and knowing you've got a wonderful day ahead of you.

Watching a surgeon save a life.

Watching a soul come to salvation.

Being pleasantly surprised - Divinely benevolent irony - the kind where you can both laugh at yourself and be grateful that God has a wonderful sense of humor.

Seeing new connections within Great Literature.

Drinking perfectly brewed Earl Grey.

Sitting by a fire with a good book and a good snack.

Walking in brisk, cold November air as golden leaves fall around you and the sun warms your face.

Going to bed after a day well spent.

3am Epiphanies about God, Dante, Love, Affirmation, Rejection, Redemption, etc.

Lying down in a sunny field with your eyes closed.

Making a film (it's even better with friends!).

Staying up all night for a worthy cause.

Reaching the turning point where a paper finally comes together or when a passage finally makes sense.

Watching the leaves fall around your friend - in the middle of Don Rags.

Eating a really tender and juicy steak.

Canoeing on a lake by yourself in the warm rain of Washington.

Seeing Beatrice.

Being in full health.

Reading the Letters of Paul.

Many more things, but summed up in this:

Happiness means knowing God - moving in Love - and realizing that if I died today, I would die a happy man.

On Happiness (Part I)

Recently, I've come across some works regarding Happiness.

First: Consolation of Philosophy, by Boethius

Second: Treatise on Happiness, by St. Thomas Aquinas

Now, I've also been following a blog called "The Happiness Project". It's on the side bar so you can go there to find out what it's all about.

It's late at night and I just wanted to get this thread going so I don't forget in the morning. Here's what I propose to do:

In this post, the author is pretty much allowing happiness to be vague. I think that such relativism at the beginning of a project like this fundamentally misses the point. ...Or something like that. I'm going to sleep on it, but these are the texts I shall be interacting with...

However, it will be an on-and-off thing as presentations are coming up!

In pursuit of Happiness,
Gabriel

Sun Soaked Soul

Think of this post as a stream-of-consciousness piece...written at some ungodly hour on a Saturday night.

Okay, I don't remember what exactly he said, but somewhere in "The Joy of Music" Bernstien says that Bach slowly but surely becomes your favorite composer. I think that's true.

Rach and Bach. =]

There was this one moment when I was listening to Rach's 2nd Symphony where I had to go, "STOP! Too...much...beauty...aaghhhhh."

Bach, though, is so permeated with beauty, it's like the sun. He gets in all the cracks of my small little soul and warms every nook and cranny of me. He loved God so much, and it shows! Everything comes together when you listen to Bach.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UFdbQtu2A4Q

And so after all this CM panel preparation is over (sometime next year). I want to start on Rachmaninoff's transcription of Bach's Violin Partita No. 3. I own a set of his complete recordings and his performance of that particular piece is shot through with such joy and wonder its...its....*happy sigh*. But of course, tomorrow is another day...of work...which means just sticking to it and getting all those fingerings right for the Rach piece and treating Annabelle like a raw machine. There's no other way for me (at least for now). Anytime I try to lay myself into the music, my fingers aren't ready yet. ;) I've also been banned from reading "The Art of Piano Playing".

Enthusiasm must be coupled with action. Good, True and gritty action. haha! Music takes hard work and to shrink from that and be lazy would be acting in a manner that is unworthy of the beauty that comes through it. Strive. Excellence.

I ramble so much....

Take ten minutes off, and listen to the Bach piece on the link above. Don't do anything else. Just listen and watch. And pray. =]

Let's keep praying for one another, always.



I'm decidedly terrible at describing music. =P

18 years

Weeeeee! Happy 18th Anniversary Mom and Dad! =] =] =]

Isn't it lovely?

We went out for dinner and had a delightful evening talking about stuff.

Here are a few anecdotes:

Some time after they met, my parents went on a college camping trip together with some friends. It so happened that my mom was washing the dishes that evening while my dad was taking pictures. hehe. So my mom asked why my dad wasn't helping and he said that being the camp photographer was a heavy burden of responsibility that outweighed menial labor. Ooooooh boy did that get my mom going! =] She got so fed up with him that she said "I feel sorry for the person who marries you". Haha! She's been happily eating her own words since. (And just in case you were wondering my dad has been reformed. =] )

Most romantic thing Dad ever did for Mom?

12 days before valentines my Dad was overseas and so he wouldn't be around for valentines. So he started sending love cards over beginning with an eansy weensy card all the way to one that was about 4 feet tall (which was delivered on valentines). I'll be honest, I'm definitely using this haha. (when i'm older, of course)

We're going to watch the wedding video now. =]

Have a lovely evening.

A Dialogue

Written for Logic Last year (I know it has many flaws but I think it presents some plausible arguements for Happiness)

Gabriel Choo
Mr. Leigh
TA Logic
Yorba Linda I
Socratic Dialogue Project
April 24, 2007

PERSONS OF DIALOGUE: Uncle Bill, Nephew

The Scene: Aboard a Long-Haul Flight to New Zealand (First Class Seating).

NEPHEW: Uncle Bill, can you tell me whether or not happiness exists; or if we’re all doomed to a meaningless and joyless existence on this tiny, inconsequential speck of dust?

UNCLE BILL: Whoa there! When did you start getting so depressed? What happened?

NEPHEW: Puberty.

UNCLE: [Looks exasperated, at first, then chuckles and has a look of quiet amusement]
I can relate to that. I’ve often wondered myself whether there was any happiness on this “tiny, inconsequential speck of dust” as you so aptly put it.

NEPHEW: You mean you’re almost 50 and you don’t know yet!?

UNCLE: SHHHHHH! I’m in my late 30’s if anyone asks. [winkwink] And as for your question, I don’t think I would say that I have found the answer yet, but I wouldn’t say that I haven’t found the answer either. It’s complicated.

NEPHEW: How complicated?

UNCLE: Well, you live for 50…I mean 30 years and you see a lot of things. Some of the stuff you see around you seems to support one side of the argument, yet on the other hand you’ve got people like Mother Theresa.

NEPHEW: Hey! I know what we can do! Why don’t we do a Socratic dialogue that my Teacher’s been telling me about?

UNCLE: Oh! You mean the philosophical thing where all those Grecian old guys with huge beards dressed in their bed sheets start firing questions at each other and the guy with the largest beard does most of the talking and the other guy just listens and says ‘yes’, ‘no’ or ‘maybe’?

NEPHEW: Yeah, yeah that one! Why don’t you be that So-crates guy.

UNCLE: Why me? And by the way, it’s actually So-cra-tEEs.

NEPHEW: Well you are almost fif….forty.

UNCLE: And I suppose I am the only one with the ability to grow a beard…

NEPHEW: Hey, I’ve got some stubble!

UNCLE: Sure you do kid.

NEPHEW: You mean it!?

UNCLE: [Breaking the fourth wall] Sarcasm is a foreign language to my nephew.

UNCLE: I think I see some fuzz. [winkwink] Alright, so, your question is, “Does happiness exist” right?

NEPHEW: Right.

UNCLE: So, I think the most obvious place to start would be to ask, “What do you think happiness is?”

NEPHEW: Well, I think that happiness is having a purpose in life and enjoying that purpose. Because I see all those rich people and most of them aren’t all that happy. They just make money and try to spend it on something that’s more entertaining than the last thing they spent their money on, come to think of it, that’s what I do most of the time. That’s why I’m wondering if there’s something better.

UNCLE: That’s a good place to start, but I think I’ve found a way where your definition would fall through.

NEPHEW: Where?

UNCLE: Murderers are bad right?

NEPHEW: Yeah, that’s what the law and the Bible says.

UNCLE: Right, so what if you were a murderer? You’d have a purpose, right? And you’d also ‘enjoy’ your job, right? So who’s to say murderers aren’t happy?

NEPHEW: But that can’t be true! Murderers aren’t supposed to be happy, are they?

UNCLE: Well why not? According to your definition, they are.

NEPHEW: Oh, I see, I didn’t define my terms well enough, haha, I got marked down for that in school too. [smacks forehead]

UNCLE: Exactly, so what do you think would be a better definition that bypasses this obstacle?

NEPHEW: Well, I suppose we’d have to define happiness as having a purpose in life that does not interfere with the happiness of others and having the ability to achieve that goal.

UNCLE: Okay, but what if my purpose in life was to make lots of money and spend it?

NEPHEW: Well then I suppose that as long as you do not interfere with the happiness of others then you’re fine. But it seems wrong somehow.

UNCLE: How so?

NEPHEW: Well, we’re obviously pretty well off if we can fly first-class on all of our flights. First-class seating is almost three times that of economy.

UNCLE: Okay, our family is rich, so what?

NEPHEW: Well, a lot of our family doesn’t seem to be too, I don’t know, happy, all they do is work so they can enjoy themselves. It never ends.

UNCLE: Okay, so how do you think we should revise your definition of happiness into one that conforms with what we, as Christians can agree with?

NEPHEW: Isn’t that implying that people who aren’t Christian can’t be happy?

UNCLE: Whoa, haha, you’ve caught me. You’re right, it does imply that non-Christians cannot be happy so I should re-word what I just said. Obviously, rich people derive some sort of satisfaction from making money and spending it, else they would not work so hard for it.

NEPHEW: Correct, you should, therefore revise your statement.

UNCLE: Alright, how does this sound, “How should you revise your definition of happiness into one that accounts for worldly satisfaction and yet points to Christ as the greatest quality and quantity of happiness?”

NEPHEW: Good, but I think we’re getting ahead of ourselves.

UNCLE: And I thought I was playing Socrates. [Smiles] How so?

NEPHEW: Our original question was, “Does happiness exist, and now the way you’ve worded your question makes it sound like we’re actually starting with the premise that happiness exists and we’re happy-go-lucky Christians who want to convert everybody.

UNCLE: Wow. [shakes head] Pessimistic are we?

NEPHEW: I prefer the term: Angst.

UNCLE: Alright, we’ll do it your way. How bout this question sound to you, “Define happiness in a way that 1) does not interfere with the happiness of others 2) accounts for material satisfaction 3) yet points to a more profound form of happiness that worldly wealth is not able to satisfy.” To quote the popular saying, “Money can’t buy happiness”.

NEPHEW: How would you cite a popular saying?

UNCLE: Come again?

NEPHEW: Never-mind. Okay, so according to your guidelines, how does this sound? Happiness is having a purpose in life that is not based on…..desire?

UNCLE: How so?

NEPHEW: Well, in the bible it says that “He that wants money, never has it enough” so by denying the desire for material possessions we can achieve happiness.

UNCLE: That sounds an awful lot like Buddhism. Not that it’s wrong (we wouldn’t be politically correct in denouncing them) but as Christians…

NEPHEW: Who said I was a Christian? I mean, if this happiness thing isn’t solved for me, I see no point in being one. For that matter, if there’s no happiness, then why live at all?

UNCLE: Ah, all the more reason for searching. So, continuing, from a Christian perspective, why doesn’t everyone just give away all their possessions and follow Buddha?

NEPHEW: I don’t know? Money seems very meaningless and shallow to me.

UNCLE: So why aren’t you a follower of Buddhism?

NEPHEW: Wait, I think I just had an epiphany! This totally changes my definition of happiness.

UNCLE: How so?

NEPHEW: We’ve already established that worldly wealth cannot bring profound joy and happiness right?

UNCLE: Actually, we haven’t even defined happiness, but let’s see where you’re going with this idea.

NEPHEW: Alright, stay with me, the reason that I don’t follow Buddhism is that their chief motivation for denying themselves of everything and achieving ‘enlightenment’ is because they want to atone for all the bad things they’ve done and find happiness. All they’re doing is just avoiding the problem. They dismiss humanity’s innate desire for happiness by denying themselves of everything, emotions, wealth, etc. Essentially, Buddhism is based on denying desire.

UNCLE: Okay, so how does this help us?

NEPHEW: It gives us a HUGE clue!

UNCLE: I’m confused….

NEPHEW: According to Buddhists, being happy, also involves feeling atoned! Or being ‘good’! It involves satisfying that innate moral law that drives human actions. That’s why I feel so terrible every time I do something ‘bad’ which goes against this, this, law I have inside me.

UNCLE: [smiles] Now we’re getting somewhere. Keep going.

NEPHEW: Happiness therefore must also include not just fulfilling the moral law, but doing it for the sake of the thing itself and not for selfish gain, ideally, of course.

UNCLE: Of course. Nicely done, now finish it off.

NEPHEW: So happiness consists of 1) having a purpose which is fulfilling the natural moral law 2) is without selfish desire because we’ve already concluded that if you continue to want more, you’ll never have enough.

UNCLE: All right! But you still have a couple loose ends.

NEPHEW: Which are?

UNCLE: 1) You have not defined the moral law 2) Buddhism’s form of happiness is essentially the same as what you’ve just defined. So again, why are you not Buddhist?

NEPHEW: Huh? I thought I’d just explained that…please ‘enlighten’ me.

UNCLE: Your definition of happiness requires a person to fulfill the moral law with the right motives. Right?

NEPHEW: Okay.

UNCLE: So essentially, it’s now a contest between Buddhism and Christianity. Both offer a way to do this, fulfill the moral law, I mean. The first by human power and the second by divine. Buddha’s goal was to find the truth and attain happiness, a lot like what you’re trying to do. He basically said that the root of all suffering is desire and that by denying desire, we can find happiness and become ‘good’ people.

NEPHEW: Oh. I see. So are these the only ways to happiness?

UNCLE: You tell me.

NEPHEW: You know what Uncle Bill, I’m sick and tired of having to answer question after question after question. I do enough of that in school already, do I really need to do that over Easter Break too?

UNCLE: You know, if I tell you, it won’t be your’s to keep. You must learn to become independent, and find the answers for yourself. No one can help you except Him. [Points towards the cabin ceiling].

NEPHEW: Sigh. ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT.

UNCLE: Good. Now tell me why it is that we follow Christ instead of Buddha.

NEPHEW: Let me research on just what Buddhist believe. Okay? Then we’ll continue our discussion. Er, Socratic Dialogue.

UNCLE: Alright, wake me up when you’re done looking through their beliefs.

NEPHEW: Will do.

THIRTY MINUTES LATER…

NEPHEW: I’ve got it! I know why we don’t believe in Buddhism.

UNCLE: Okay, why?

NEPHEW: Buddhists believe in the Four Noble Truths which is basically summarized like this, “The world is screwed over because everyone keeps on pursuing happiness in their own, twisted ways. Therefore, by not pursuing happiness and changing your mind set to a state where you don’t care about anything and don’t hurt anyone, you achieve happiness.” Sounds easy right? Well, that’s just it! It’s not easy, no matter how hard we try, there will never be anyone who truly achieves this, we will always be sinful no matter how hard we try.

UNCLE: Good. So why do we believe in Christianity?

NEPHEW: Because Christianity can be summarized like this, “The world is screwed up because Man disobeyed God. Because you disobeyed God, it is now in your nature to sin and do evil to yourselves and to others. You can’t change your nature. And because you sin, at worst, you’ll die an eternal death and at best you can enjoy these meaningless pleasures that the world offers and then still have to die the second death. God knows this. So he sent his Son as a sacrifice for all of humanities sins. And because Jesus was fully human as well as fully God he was able to achieve the formerly impossible, live a perfect life and at the same time have a sinful tendency. And because Jesus did it, He can give this same power to live a perfect life to all who believe that he came to die for humanity. So that they can not only find happiness, but have eternal happiness. Free from sin forever.

UNCLE: Nice summary. But it seems to me to be just a matter of preference. Right?

NEPHEW: Wrong. It’s not possible to achieve happiness on your own, you need God.

UNCLE: So let’s summarize.

NEPHEW: We started with the question, “Does happiness exist?” and we tried several definitions. Then we finally came up with, “Happiness is fulfilling the innate moral law and having temperance or contentment.” We found that two religions offer a way to do this: Buddhism and Christianity. And we went through a discussion on which one works. We finally concluded that Christianity is more viable as a path to happiness because Buddhism doesn’t work.

UNCLE: Of course there are still those loose ends that I mentioned earlier, but…

NEPHEW: Let’s not worry about them and say we did.

UNCLE: Sounds good to me! [Both Laugh]